Sunday, October 31, 2004

Love for sale?

The management of emotion or "Love management"

Is love something that is already there by nature or something that can be achieved or managed?

Dr. Stephen Covey is the author of the famous book

The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

In this book he tells this story (source: review):

Love by Covey
A man comes up to Covey after a seminar and says that he no longer has feelings of love for his wife.
Covey responds with the instruction:
"Love her."
"I told you, the feeling just isn't there anymore!"
"Love her."
"You don't understand. The feeling of love just isn't there."

"Then love her. If the feeling isn't there, that's a good reason to love her."

Covey goes on to explain that love is a verb and that the feeling is a fruit of the verb. If you act with love, the feeling will follow, appears to be his view.

How can we deal with this way Love is defined?

Love is infinite, therefore Love has many appearances. On many I'll come back on this weblog !

This one, by Covey, makes clear that :

Giving Love ⇒ Creating Love

Something we already knew:

Bible: Luke 6:27-38But I say unto you which hear, Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,..
Bible: John 13:34A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.
Quran Surah 60:7It may be that Allah will grant love (and friendship) between you and those whom ye (now) hold as enemies. For Allah has power (over all things); And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.
Rig Veda 10.191.4. VE, P. 253 United your resolve, united your hearts, may your spirits be at one, that you may long together dwell in unity and concord!

In fact this approach "to love your enemy" is the key to success in your life !

Salesmanager test

Whenever I have to address a (new) group of salesmanagers, the first (plain) question I ask is:

When someone asks you to help him.......
where he profits from,
but you don't...

Will you help him?

Now, first of all, there is no wrong or right answer to this question.

In practice you'll notice four kinds of basic reactions:

  1. Instantly: Yes
  2. After thinking 3-10 seconds: Yes, because I'll get something back for it later
  3. After thinking: Only if I get something back
  4. No

In general the most successful salesmanagers give answer number 1: Yes.

So follow Jesus, Ghandi Buddha and M.L. King in "loving your enemies" and make this your attitude:

Giving love is creating love !

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