Freedom is great. But there's no freedom or liberty without borders.
Too much freedom will cause chaos, will damage others or even yourself.
Boundaries are essential for developing ourselves and relationships with each other, for our ability to give and receive love, for spiritual growth, and for a healthy, balanced lifestyle.
However, boundaries are often violated and we ask ourselves what we can do about it.
In their book 'When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life', psychologists Cloud and Townsend show how to set reasonable boundaries in relationships.
On their website you'll gain sound advice on boundary matters. On their website, just fill in a search word, click and simply watch the correspondent video (example) !
As a shortcut, their Ten Laws of Boundaries :
The best freedom is 'Bounded Freedom' !
Too much freedom will cause chaos, will damage others or even yourself.
Boundaries are essential for developing ourselves and relationships with each other, for our ability to give and receive love, for spiritual growth, and for a healthy, balanced lifestyle.
However, boundaries are often violated and we ask ourselves what we can do about it.
In their book 'When to Say YES, When to Say NO, To Take Control of Your Life', psychologists Cloud and Townsend show how to set reasonable boundaries in relationships.
On their website you'll gain sound advice on boundary matters. On their website, just fill in a search word, click and simply watch the correspondent video (example) !
As a shortcut, their Ten Laws of Boundaries :
- Sowing and Reaping
Our actions have consequences. Someone will bear them.
Don’t interrupt this law by regularly bailing others out. - Responsibility
We are responsible 'to', not 'for' each other.
We are to love one another, not be one another. - Power
We do not have power over other people.
We hardly have enough power over ourselves - Respect
If we wish our boundaries to be respected we must respect those of others.
For with the measure you use, you will be measured. - Motivation
We must be free to say 'no' before we can wholeheartedly say 'yes'.
“Acts of love” are worthless if we don’t feel to have a choice - Evaluation
We need to evaluate the effects our boundaries cause others.
Hurt and harm are not the same – pain may eventually lead to growth - Proactivity
Boundaries must express what you stand for, not just what you are against.
Solve problems on the basis of your values, wants, and needs - Envy
We will never get what we want if we focus on what others have.
Envy keeps us empty and unfulfilled - Activity
We need to take the initiative to solve our problems.
Don’t wait for your partner to take the first step - Exposure
Boundaries must be communicated.
Otherwise they are invisible to others
The best freedom is 'Bounded Freedom' !
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