Wednesday, March 08, 2006

What triggers you?

Sometimes in the middle of what seems to be a normal conversation, an ordinary event suddenly causes an intense emotional reaction. How is this possible? Normally a small event causes a small reaction. Sometimes a small event causes a large reaction, this is called anEmotional Trigger

The cause of an emotional trigger is not in the context of the situation or the present circumstances, it lays in the past. Within our past there's an event or trauma that is large enough to evoke such an emotional response. The trigger in the conversation is only a small inducement of this previous trauma.

Now you could say you respond emotional stable (S=1) if your Response (R) is in balance with the size of the Event (E) that triggers the response. If S is larger than one (S>1) you over-respond. So expressed in an emotional response formula:


S =


How can you deal with our own triggers?

  1. Be aware of body cues.

  2. Step back, don’t knee jerk react!

  3. Look at your feelings (be very specific) & write them out.

  4. Look on your lifepath for the "emotional puzzle piece" match.

  5. Mentally "pull apart" the super-imposed images of the events "e" and "E", by identifying differences.

  6. Deal with the primary past Event (trauma).

  7. Choose to respond differently to the present event.

Once your conscious of your emotional triggers, the trigger stops. It's just like with tickling.You can't tickle yourself !So in the future not only be conscious of your own emotional triggers but also be aware of a remark you make that may cause an emotional trigger (with)in your friend. It's often just like with avalanches. Don't scream or explode (= trigger) or the avalanche (= large event) starts. But also don't run away too long from the situation, but work in small steps on the solution, or otherwise the avalanche starts on other triggers. Just like with the bushfires in Australia. Already the aboriginals in Australia knew more than thousands of years ago that controlled burning could prevent a major bushfire and encourage new growth of plants. Now get triggered with 'controlled bushfires' in your life.

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